Flammable

Bald people get a hard time, but there is a category of people who get an even harder time, and it’s entirely understandable: they are the inbetween people. Those who lack enough hair to be worth keeping, and don’t have the courage or conviction to shave it off and go bald. It really is a tragic affair. I think that when you continue reading you will share my opinion wholeheartedly and realize that I speak only the truth.

The most famous of all these people is, of course, Prince William. Legendary for his shambolic mop—a truly disastrous affair which, in recent months, has become so unbearable to look at that doing so will ruin not only your day, but your week, guaranteed—the man clearly doesn’t know what to do with himself, and who can blame him? But someone is to blame, of course. And I blame his advisors. I just can’t believe that they think it looks really good. Which begs the question: why hasn’t just one person stepped forward and told William that his hair is atrocious and a disgrace to the monarchy? Ask yourself: if William was not royal, where would he be in obtaining the babe stakes? I mean, how many women really want that next to them in bed? I realise, I honestly do, that removing the hair will be a painful and humiliating affair, but what other choice does he and other have? No, it’s about being brave, people. So if you are one of these people be brave. I assure you, you will not forget it.

It may seem like I am being slightly harsh on William, bit someone has to be, because the man is, after all, setting an example to everyone else. The sooner he sorts his hair out the sooner the rest of the population will realize that parading about such ‘hair’ is simply unacceptable.

It was my birthday last week, and my friend Abigale gave me a chemical face peel as a gift. Now I have to say, I have no idea what she was trying to tell me; but after I got over the relative disturbance of how add the present was, I went and realized that it was actually quite lovely. I would suggest it to anyone if they have the spare time and inclination.